His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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