Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
