Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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