We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
