i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
