South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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