I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
