You just made me feel so damn special
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
