does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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