i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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