Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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