After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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