so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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