you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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