she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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