The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I got chris browned last night
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I deserve this hangover.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
