Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
