When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
