So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
