Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
