I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
