it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
