Will you blow on my dice?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
