It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
