Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Randomize
