Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
