yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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