so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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