I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
