Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
