he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
