hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
