just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
