I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
so much tequila, so little girl.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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