Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
