wrigley field is MILF paradise
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
