Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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