I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
