Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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