I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
