he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
