We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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