Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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