so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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