hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
