The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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