I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
