everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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