It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
