Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
