pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
